June 1, 1998

If you count Italians as white, Hoboken is about 106% Caucasian. New York City is not. As I am one who celebrates diversity (like the bumper sticker says), I prefer the more cosmopolitan atmosphere that Manhattan offers.

Not everyone feels this way. There is a small segment of the population who would just as soon see white folks go back to where they came from. These people represent the "Go Back to Europe" party.

When I emerged from the 9 train at the corner of 50th and Broadway last Wednesday afternoon, I saw a congregation of black men standing on a makeshift wooden platform preaching the word of the Lord to a sizeable crowd of other African-Americans. The men wore long black robes, and black do-rags adorned their heads. Giant silver Stars of David were suspended by silver chains around their necks. Their faces glistened with sweat. Their voices were loud and full of furious anger.

"You there, White Man!" one of them shouted. "Do you know where the term 'Caucasian' comes from?"

At first I wondered who he was talking to.

"I'm talking to you White Man!" he said looking straight at me.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes you White Man. You're the only one here. Do you know where the term 'Caucasian' comes from?"

"I believe it is derived from the Caucasus Mountains, located in what was Soviet Georgia, but which is now known simply as Georgia."

"Exactly!" the man in black shouted. "You are obviously an educated white man."

"I'd like to think so" I said evenly.

"What! Speak up White Man! I cannot hear you!"

"I said, 'I'd like to think so.'"

Something about being addressed as "White Man" (with an exclamation point!) seemed funny to me. I felt like I had been thrust into a position of being the spokesman for every pale-face in America. At the same time, I appreciated the fact that this man publicly recognized my intellect. I instantly liked him.

The speaker turned to one of his colleagues and asked him to read a passage from the book of Job. (I forgot which verse.) The second man shouted out something like "The Edomites were cast out of the dark nations of the earth and sent to live among the snakes and the scorpions in the caves up north." "Up North", according to the speaker, meant The Caucuses. The Edomites where white. Why had they been cast out? Well, for one, the dark nations of the earth had little tolerance for folks who looked and smelled differently from them. Also, the Edomites were regarded as just a race of thieves.

"Thief! Thief! Thief!" all six men in black robes shouted in unison while pointing at me.

While I didn't really like the negative attention, perhaps they were right. After all, if the Bible said it's so, then it is.

"Ladies and gentleman" the head man continued to shout, "Do you know where the term 'human' comes from? No? Well, I'll tell you. The prefix 'hu' comes from the word 'hue' which means 'of color'. Now you all know what the suffix 'man' means. I mean white folks ain't completely stupid. So the word 'human' means 'man of color'. Therefore, by definition, whites ain't human! Brown is the natural color. White is not. Brown is the color of God. White is the color of the Devil. People of color are the children of God! People without color are the children of Satan!"

His logic made sense to me.

"Get thee behind me Satan!" all six men shouted while pointing at me.

Again, I didn't really like being the object of such animosity, but their basic argument intrigued me. These guys were starting to make sense. Maybe I was a descendent of the Devil. That would explain my nearly constant state of lust and drunkenness and vulgar expressiveness. My face must have been scrunched up in thought, because the head man in the black robe with the Star of David suspended on a chain around this neck goaded me with "What do you have to say for yourself Devilchild?"

"Why do you wear the Star of David?" I asked.

"Because we are the true Israelites. The Africans, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Native Americans, Mexicans (he mentioned seven others) are the Twelve Tribes of Israel. The people today who call themselves Jews are not Jews at all. They are the Devil's children. We are the true Jews!"

Suddenly my admiration for this man dropped to zero. While I am not a racist ("Some of my best friends are black"), I am an anti-Semite. In disgust, I walked away; disappointed by yet another false prophet.

 

Broadway Jim Jenkins