Men Behaving Badly

Almost every girl I know in New York has had the uncomfortable experience of seeing a strange man masturbate in front of them on the subway. The guy is always alone. (That makes sense, since guys—however crazy—don’t usually consider public masturbation a buddy activity.) The guy is usually white, middle-aged, balding, out of shape, and not very attractive. (This too makes sense. It’s hard to picture Alec Baldwin on the A train feverishly working away on himself while muttering in his slow tenor, "I am God.")

So what motivates a man to disgrace himself in such a way? Loneliness is probably a big reason. Loneliness can lead to desperation, which evolves into not caring, and finally perversion. Couple this with that fact that so many attractive girls wear the most revealing outfits possible and you’ve got a recipe for the most indelicate of situations.

I thought there might have been a longer story here, but I guess I just wanted to work in my masturbating Alec Baldwin "I am God" imagery, as it got quite a laugh out of my girlfriend this past weekend.

I’ll write more inspiring stuff soon.

Yours,

Broadway Jim Sosnicky